a life lost

Twice this year have I heard my dad say "I have shockingly terrible news" as my sister and i enter the house. The first time was in April, we came home tired from a long day at the hospital, when we found out that an aunt close to us died of a sudden heart attack at the age of 41.

Today is the second time it happened. As dad said the words, my heart was beating wildly, wondering what had happened this time. Was it my dad's dad? My mom's dad? Who? Who?! And although I was priming myself for shock, nothing could ever prime me for this one: my 18-year-old cousin dead, shot straight to the heart by 2 people who wanted money so bad they had to commit murder. I stood rooted to where I was standing, by the doorway, tears streaming down my face as my mind kept screaming "NOOOO!" He is only 18, how could he be dead?!

He just finished his final exams at UST at 8:00pm. He and his girlfriend were walking on the street when they were suddenly held up by 2 guys. There was a struggle for the backpack, a massive blow to the head, and then a close-range shot to the heart. His girlfriend was screaming for help, but he was already dead on the spot. 18 years old! Were these murderers born without conscience? Was life that hard they had to kill an innocent?

While the murderers are still free to roam the streets, thinking only of bragging to other scums about their latest crime, a mother is left devastated in New York, almost mad with grief and regret. She hasn't seen her 1st-born since he was 4 years old. She was counting the months until his graduation 2 years from now, when they will be reunited again. Why, when they were this close, would something so violently tragic happen?

While the murderers roam free, the girlfriend remains hysterical in the hospital, perhaps blaming herself for taking the detour from their usual path. Why, on this night, did they have to pass by on this street? A girlfriend who will forever remain scarred after seeing such maddness, such horrible sight of depraved humanity.

While they brag to their drinking buddies about their latest hit, families grieve inconsolably for a precious life lost. He is my young cousin, the one who was standing beside me and my siblings, riding at the back of my dad's pick-up truck, screaming on top of our lungs as we drive down Antique's coastline. He is Raf's cousin, but a brother in the truest sense of the word. He is Tita Marilyn's nephew but considered always like a son. He is Ate Pane's alaga for 15 years, they shared a bond like no other.

These murderers...will they ever understand the immensity of their actions? Will they ever be punished? Will they ever be caught? And if justice were to be served, will we be able to find peace in the end? I fear the answer might be slim to none.

-posted by tanya-