Nightmares

Most of the brides I talked to say it's normal. It's an integral part of the planning process. When you hit the 6-month mark, you're definitely going to have them. So, let me be vulnerable, and share my most recent wedding nightmare:

I put on my wedding gown and looked at myself in the mirror. I heard my mom and my sister gasp, and then I realized that my gown was unfinished and in tatters. I heard them saying "It's alright! Nobody will notice! Here, take your bouquet and let's go!" I looked at my bouquet and it was a horrid collection of limp and dead weeds. Then, I looked at my bridesmaids' dresses, and they were a horrid shade of blue. My mind screamed "oh no! oh no! oh noooooo!"

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My heart was racing when I woke up. In another part of my life, I would probably laugh at how ridiculous my concerns are. "Horrid shade of blue" IS a preposterous statement! But you know, in my wedding-fogged mind, I actually care that it SHOULD be the right shade. I like the Martha Stewart aqua, not the bright aqua/cyan-like color. I care that my flowers should be peonies! ranunculus! hydrangeas! and NO roses! (And yes, I know flowers now like the back of my hand. Hypericum berries, you say? Yes, they're wonderful! And stephanotis? Cute, but not in my bouquet). And, yes yes yes, I dream of chiavari chairs, but we could not afford them!

I think all the details and the decisions that are being thrown at a bride are so mind-blowing, that it's an absolute must that one is haunted by them. Next year, I'll read this entry again and say "wow! was i ridiculous!" But for now, they're my worst fears.

-posted by tanya-